Food shopping and eating disorder recovery
The experience of an anorexia nervosa sufferer negotiating shopping, and the importance of this to neural rewiring for rehabilitation
Zӧe Rucker, reporter
Zӧe Rucker, reporter
Anorexia Nervosa (anorexia) is often seen as something a young person develops as a result of low self-esteem around body image and weight gain.
The National Institute for Health and Care Research (NIHR) describes anorexia as “a severe, life-threatening eating disorder (ED) and psychiatric illness that typically develops in younger women but can affect people of all ages.”
Tabitha Farrar, founding member of International Eating Disorder Action, uses her own experiences of recovery to explain the complexities of eating disorders. She believes “the reason why a person with an eating disorder develops a fear of weight-gain is because their genetics react to energy deficit in that way.”
Abby Rucker, a current sufferer and case study, defines her anorexia as: “A genetic predisposition awakened when the body is in an energy deficit.”
Together, these definitions present anorexia as a psychological and biological disease that attacks the neural pathways of survival through energy deficiency.
According to Emily Spence, a recovery coach and podcaster, shopping for food is “a space for huge opportunity to do neural rewiring and, of course, is a key part of the nutritional rehabilitation”.
This is a courageous and sincere discussion, summarised by the young protagonist as she responds to some of the insights.
Abby vocalised her internal dialogue, listing some causes of her difficulties when trying to buy the right foods for recovery.
“I’m just overwhelmed in the supermarket and don’t feel strong enough to fight the headspace even though I know it’s a disordered headspace. So I end up with, well, it’s better I get something rather than nothing. So I end up going with the options on the shelves in front of me or I get nothing, because I’m just not enjoying the headspace.”
The idea of getting something that’s full fat becomes impossible, and not very appealing.
“The ‘no added sugar’, the ‘protein’, the low fat… that’s the kind of thing that excites my eating disorder. When I’ve seen all of this, the idea of going and getting a normal dessert is literally like telling a child to go from a sweet, chocolate and pick-n-mix of flavours, to plain rice crackers. It’s just not exciting.
Emily offered insights and guidance to individuals with restrictive eating disorders on navigating food shopping.
She said: “You know, recovery is as unique as we all are, and so it is really about sort of having that conversation with the individual that is in recovery and working out what works best. It's a very personal thing.”
With this in mind, she shared some general practical aids:
Have a plan of action
“That does not have to look like a sort of fixed shopping list. And some people find that the more specific they are and the more thorough they are in that plan, the better. Other people find it's more helpful to have more of maybe a more flexible plan.”
Make sure you are nourished
“If you allow yourself to go into that space hungry, acutely, it is often harder to come out in a really strong way than if you go in more nourished. The closer that you can do the shop to a source of nourishment, the better.”
Shop at quieter times
“Another practical thing is going at quieter times. Some people find it's the opposite. Some people find that the hustle and bustle is actually quite handy. But I would say what’s more common is people finding, if it's a little quieter, it can feel less overwhelming and less intense.”
Choose smaller shops
“Some people find that a bigger shop is better because there is more variety, more option. Other people find that that increased variety is overwhelming, and actually, therefore, finding a smaller version of said shop is a more helpful space to go into.”
Shop with a ‘recovery buddy’
“Some people find that just having someone there who can give a nod and says: ‘Listen to your core self’, is everything that's needed. Sometimes, though, actually having someone that's going to be a little bit more proactive and a little bit more challenging at times, and goes: ‘I noticed you blocked that. What about that?’”.
Use a motivational playlist
“Sticking your headphones on and having a Spotify playlist of the songs that really fire up your core self, can be a really wonderful way, when you don’t have somebody who's there on the ground with you.”
Screenshot of Emily Spence, an ED recovery coach and co-host of the podcast ‘unrestrict-ED'
Screenshot of Emily Spence, an ED recovery coach and co-host of the podcast ‘unrestrict-ED'
Photo taken by Emily Spence
Photo taken by Emily Spence
As well as sharing part of a toolbox of practical advice, Emily gave insights into how food shopping is a vital aspect of neural rewiring to reach complete recovery.
She said: “A fundamental aspect of neural rewiring is nutritional rehabilitation. At the end of the day, your brain needs nourishment to be able to rewire.
Rewiring is an energy-intensive process, and so there are definitely situations where focusing and zooming in on that nourishment and really making sure that there is adequacy and consistency and nourishment."
"Wherever in the recovery process there is challenge, wherever there is that increase in eating disordered thoughts - backlash - there is opportunity for rewiring.
And quite simply, what we mean by that is, there's opportunity for thoughts to surface and for somebody to choose to do something different.
It’s what is known as ‘opposite action’, and that is a really important part of the recovery journey."
Abby accessed the interview with Emily, and she gave her feedback on some of what was said.
Overall, she was relieved to hear that shopping is meant to be challenging. She said: “By doing it correctly, things are difficult, so you are rewiring. I’m not feeling like I do it just for the sake of it.”
Abby noticed that shopping with a ‘buddy’ could help so long as they understand the purpose but in practice, going in with a plan alone was more effective for her.
Although the busier times didn’t bother her, she did find that smaller shops, like farm shops have just “one type of food. They haven’t got the diet culture.” Sometimes this is not exciting enough for her.
“I like the idea of compassion,” said Abby. “It doesn’t get talked about a lot. There’s more of fierce, bold actions. It means I can appreciate how hard recovery is.”
Ultimately, Abby had not thought about going shopping as a recovery action. She said: “I didn’t know supermarket shopping could have such an impact on my rewiring. It’s not just a case of getting the food.”
Photo taken by Abby in her bedroom
Photo taken by Abby in her bedroom
