Alcohol on a date:
Necessity or Nuisance?
(Video: Mart Production/ Pexels) (Sound: Ericlemans / Freesound.org)
(Video: Mart Production/ Pexels) (Sound: Ericlemans / Freesound.org)
Lines like "Wanna grab a drink sometime?" and "Can I buy you a drink?" have long been ubiquitous phrases in Australia's dating vocabulary.
The role that alcohol plays in our dating lives is complex. Professor Moodie, of the Melbourne School of Population and Global Health, believes that alcohol is “undeniably entwined in people’s social DNA”.
However, many academics and professionals are urging young people to be more mindful of their drinking habits, as alcohol consumption can significantly increase the risk of dating aggression and abuse.
Psychologist Ainsley Aitcheson feels that when going on a date, we should all be mindful of our relationship with alcohol and how it can affect our decision making abilities.
Australia is known for its extensive drinking culture, which began over 200 years ago when the first British colonists arrived on these shores, and because of our tumultuous history certain pressures and expectations prevail today when it comes to our drinking habits in dating settings.
However, the last twenty years or so have seen many young people in the Western world shifting away from excessive alcohol consumption.
James Young, the owner of Cherry Bar in Melbourne's CBD, says " having been involved as an owner of the Cherry Bar for 15 years, we’ve noticed that young people are drinking less or drinking more responsibly than they used to."
"My generation was more of an Aussie heavy drinking, for better or worse, kind of a larrikin culture and now there seems to be a greater sense of a health culture of a pervading sense of safety for all."
- James Young
While this shift began prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, our endless days of lockdown over the last 20 months or so have reinforced and propelled the trend at a significantly faster pace.
With bars, clubs and restaurants shut in Melbourne for more than 250 days, young Australians have been forced to initiate and maintain relationships in unconventional and highly restrictive settings.
Undeniably, the rise of dating apps in our increasingly digital world is partially responsible for what some academics have coined a time of “cold intimacies” and “emotional capitalism”.
We may be drinking less on dates, but we’re also seeking less commitment and less meaningful relationships, or so they say.
Before the pandemic, apps like Tinder and Hinge were primarily used for casual dating and late night hookups.
(AP Photo: Rachel Sanoff/ Bustle)
(AP Photo: Rachel Sanoff/ Bustle)
During the pandemic however, many of these apps have become platforms for establishing meaningful connections and overcoming loneliness, indicating a shift away from this culture of “cold intimacies”.
Like most platforms, it’s not the platform itself that’s the issue but what you do with it that counts.
“It has been the busiest year in our history, and it’s going to be a completely new decade of dating.” (AP Photo: Tinder report)
“It has been the busiest year in our history, and it’s going to be a completely new decade of dating.” (AP Photo: Tinder report)
Our reassessment of dating apps is not the only way our dating habits have changed throughout the pandemic.
Due to physical restrictions and lockdown laws, the once favoured first-date spot of a bar or restaurant has been replaced with remote zoom meetups or coffee dates in the local park, sans alcohol.
21 year old business and marketing student Cindy Nguyen, who met her current boyfriend on Hinge during lockdown, says that now an ideal date for her is getting coffee or taking a long walk along the river. She also feels that alcohol can be more of a turn off when trying to establish a relationship.
Cindy's selfie. (AP photo: Cindy Nguyen)
Cindy's selfie. (AP photo: Cindy Nguyen)
“If you are looking for a serious relationship, I feel like alcohol doesn’t play a big part in it because people don’t rely on it to interact with another person... If your date asks you to drink a lot, then obviously, it’s not a good impression. And it makes me feel very unsafe.”
Nguyen is not alone in these feelings as many young Melbournians have ventured outdoors for their dates and have endeavoured to bring some excitement to their lockdown love lives.
Jackson Hille and Stephanie Clarkson have been dating for two years and found their drinking habits changed dramatically during lockdown as they explored more creative ways to go on dates.
Don’t be fooled though, while the pandemic has forced us to slow down in many areas of our lives, some people feel that even without the alcohol their pandemic relationships are developing way too fast.
“I feel like the chronology of dating is different now. Because it's like, okay, you go for a walk or a picnic. And then it's like, okay, well then, the next step is I will come to your house. Like, do I want you to come to my house? I don't really know you, but like there's nothing else to do.”
- Olivia Delahunty, 22, student
“I've started seeing someone who was just a hook-up, and then we just kept hanging out and because they lived so close, we can go on walks together and stuff and like get to know each other, and it has moved significantly faster...it's hyper accelerated.”
- Matt Cox, 20, teacher's aide
The COVID-19 pandemic has been characterised as a time of significant change with many young Australians ditching alcohol and preferring to date sober.
Could this mean the end of drunken hookups and terrible bar dates? Not likely.
But what it does reveal is that our attitudes towards alcohol may be changing for the better as we are forced to confront the social habits we once deemed normal and ultimately agree to take responsibility for them.
Perhaps something good may come out of this pandemic after all.
Disclaimer
We do not advocate overconsumption or the abuse of alcohol.
For more information about the effects of alcohol on your health visit the
Alcohol.Think Againwebsite or contact them directly at 1800 198 024 (Australia)
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