*Some names have been altered at the request of the interviewees.

“Till death do us part,” they vowed, under a rose studded wedding arch that stood tall as a symbol of the life and home the newly-weds would create together.

But just seven years later, it wasn’t death but something unprecedented that ended Annette’s marriage.

In February 2021, Australia’s vaccination rollout saw fractures branch across the nation as Annette and her husband found themselves on opposite sides.

He would soon be known to her as an ‘Anti-Vaxxer,’ - a label he would sacrifice his relationships for.

“When it came to Covid, people were looking at vaccinations differently,” she says about her ex-husband who never had any qualms about getting vaccinated prior to the pandemic.

It was previously reported that Australia was not likely to achieve vaccination levels higher than 90%, according to the Melbourne Institute for Applied Economic and Social Research. Hesitancy across the country was reported to be highest in Queensland at 14.2% and at it’s lowest in Victoria at 7.3%.

A majority of people got vaccinated, despite predictions that there would be a lot of resistance. Picture credit: Joshua Qualls

A majority of people got vaccinated, despite predictions that there would be a lot of resistance. Picture credit: Joshua Qualls

However, the vaccination rollout has fallen largely in line with the ABC’s prediction that only 4-8% of Australians would refuse vaccination.

Despite this, families like Annette’s have experienced significant challenges that statistical data alone cannot account for.

Those who have drawn the line on vaccinations have often also done so within their families.

A huge number of people attend anti-vaccination protests in Melbourne's CBD, sporting banners and placards listing the health damages of taking the jab. Picture credit: Prealene Khera

A huge number of people attend anti-vaccination protests in Melbourne's CBD, sporting banners and placards listing the health damages of taking the jab. Picture credit: Prealene Khera

Protests against the vaccine mandate are still continuing in Melbourne. Video credit: Prealene Khera

As a Melbourne based childcare worker, Annette, now triple-vaxxed, was required by law to take the vaccine. But when she did, she also chose her health and her career over her marriage.

“He said if you get vaccinated, the marriage is over,” she recalls.

“I [got] vaccinated and two weeks later, we were getting a divorce.”

Conflict regarding vaccines can sometimes take a really harsh turn, in Annette's case it resulted in a divorce. Picture credit: Engin Akyurt

An article by Vox on the history of vaccine hesitancy upheld that history has shown that more than other medical advances, vaccinations require trust and conversation above all else.

Reflecting on her initial discussions with her former partner, Annette wishes she had approached their conversation differently.

“Originally when he said he felt that strongly about [it], I didn't probably take it that seriously… obviously that was wrong.”

Annette is right.

If a family is at least able to communicate their difficulties, it can become possible for them to handle conflict in a way that also allows individuals to maintain their original positions, according to clinical psychologist Catherine Sanders.

New mum Emma* is evidence of Sanders’ approach, showing that vaccination conflict doesn’t have to sever our family ties.

After she gave birth to the first grandson of the family in June 2020, Emma was managing motherhood as well as ongoing difficulties with her “conspiracy-theorist” father.

Emma initially refused her father contact with her newborn child in fear that he would pass on the virus. Their conflict only worsened once mandatory vaccination was introduced.

As a grandfather unable to hold his grandchild, her father was devastated.

Continued communication, however, was key in allowing Emma and her father to reach a compromise which resulted in him making the reluctant choice to get vaccinated in late 2021.

Whilst this decision is still a pressure point between the two, the relationship Emma’s father has with her child ultimately became more important.

“I don't agree on his stance. He doesn't agree on my stance…but we just kind of let a sleeping dog lie.”

man wearing maroon, white, and blue stripe long-sleeved shirt lifting up baby wearing gray onesie — Some family members were barred from seeing children and other vulnerable people when the pandemic first began. Picture credit: Johnny Cohen

Some family members were barred from seeing children and other vulnerable people when the pandemic first began. Picture credit: Johnny Cohen

So, is conflict and its management part of a larger spectrum? Sanders seems to agree

The 'Conflict Spectrum' consists of audio and visual elements that represent the amount of tension subjects have experienced due to the vaccine. Video credits top to bottom: RODNAE Productions, Ivan Samkov, Anastasia Shuraeva, Antoni Shkraba and cottonbro.

Learning to recognise where you fall on the ‘Conflict Spectrum’ is an important tool that families can utilise to move forward together.

But, it is when people are fixed in their views that progress is hindered.

“When people get very rigid about their position, either pro or anti [vaccine], a lot of that rigidity is fear driven,” says Katrina Richardson, a clinical family therapist, on anxieties around loss of control or threat to health.

When they lose their flexibility in thinking, they lose their curiosity.

“First and foremost they [lose] their ability to empathise with somebody else,” she adds.

Richardson advocates for ‘Communal curiosity’ as a method to harness empathy and deal with vaccine related disputes within families.

Only about 20-30 per cent of conflict can be solved or has a clear solution, according to the South Melbourne therapist. The other 70-80 per cent consists of perpetual conflict.

Communal curisoity is about managing, not solving, conflict.

“Curiosity has to be genuine for it to be felt by the other person and for dialogue to remain open otherwise it degenerates into a debate."

According to family expert Catherine Sanders, problems revolving around vaccinations made a lot of people book appointments with family therapists. Picture Credit: Polina Zimmerman.

Other experts weigh in with their take on the matter:

According to family expert Catherine Sanders, problems revolving around vaccinations made a lot of people book appointments with family therapists. Picture Credit: Polina Zimmerman.

Annette understands what the psychologists are advocating and although she is curious, her ex-husband is not.

But she knows her curiosity comes second to knowing he’s doing okay.

Before their divorce, they used to go swing dancing and would go out every weekend.

“He doesn't want to dance with people who are vaccinated,” she says on his declining mental health and social interactions.

“When he gave me a hug goodbye, he had to put his hand over his mouth and hold his head away from me because he was scared that I could make him ill.”

Annette hopes she can have an open conversation with him, but before that she wishes society didn’t see him as an outlier anymore.

Instead, as someone who was scared.

Injecting a divide

“I [got] vaccinated and two weeks later, we were getting a divorce.”

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