“Optimism is the kind of story you tell yourself in good times and bad times.”

 Nobody wants to feel lonely, forgotten, or ignored. These past years of the pandemic haven’t only spiked our levels of loneliness, but conversations of its prolonged effects have begun as well. According to Harvard Magazine, the uncertainty around the pandemic’s end date is what’s mainly contributed to our loneliness lingering. With restrictions and mandates, most of us to still feel disconnected. Even if lockdown measures have lifted, leading to the reopening of various non-essential services, there’s still those of us who can feel the sting of isolation’s mental consequences. 

So, how do we look ahead from our psychological wounds? How do we move on from the emptiness we’ve once felt, and might continue to feel? Erin De Jong, Sheridan’s Health Promotions Specialist, provided some insight on how to look forward in a healthy and mindful way. 

If the reopening of social settings has made you feel anxious, De Jong wants you to know that it’s okay to feel like that right now. Though meeting new faces may be uncomfortable, she shares that it’ll be a slow process, but one most of us can relate to.

“It’s going to feel a little bit draining, and I think just having that acknowledgement will be helpful. If people are not acting the way you anticipated, that’s okay,” says De Jong. 

In terms of connections made over the past three years, she says the pandemic has taught us the usefulness of virtual communication. This is so, as she implied that it is something we will continue to make better use of in the future. De Jong adds that through her virtual contacts, she’s formed a stable work relationship with her colleagues. She says that as a society, we might have actually learned the value in virtual support. 

“I think there’s a lot of value in virtual connection that we maybe didn’t recognize as much before,” says De Jong. 

She also advises in how to transform negative self-talk into something more compassionate. De Jong says the little voice in our head is in control of our perceived reality. Therefore, we need to make sure it’s a positive voice. She says that simply being aware of the negative conversations we have with ourselves is how we put it in its place, and eventually transform it into self-compassion and optimism. 

“The voice in our head can be something you can work with… but it can be hard. It’s okay if that positive piece didn’t really come out necessarily right away,” says De Jong. 

Though the pandemic sent most of us in a tailspin, De Jong claims that it’s also taught us that we’re a lot more resilient than we thought. She says this by also not disposing the fact that it will take a lot of work to navigate ourselves into this post-normal reality. 

“I think there’s a lot of focus right now on mental health. I think that will be helpful moving forward, but I think that’s going to be a challenge,” says De Jong. 

It may be difficult to communicate again or attend events and meet new people, De Jong says that though this may be the circumstance, it is more than necessary to keep trying. She adds that if you’re not taking those steps, it will be harder to step out of what you’ve felt. 

Lastly, De Jong shares her new found perspective she’s gained over the past years. She implies that it will only help her move forward with wisdom and a sense of clarity. De Jong says her definition of optimism has been redefined because of the pandemic. She has a new perspective.

“Optimism is the kind of story you tell yourself in good times and bad times. An optimist isn’t someone who thinks everything is good all the time. Optimism is riding the ups and downs, which are inevitable in life,” says De Jong. 

As we move into our post-world with less lockdowns, but maintained restrictions, it can be hard to find some middle-ground. De Jong ensures that this stage is a process. It will take time to slowly go back from where we left off. We won’t see any overnight success, nor one-and-done solutions. De Jong says that whenever we’re feeling down, we have to take a moment and understand that it won’t last forever. She says this is what evidently makes life so special.    

“The voice in our head can be something you can work with… but it can be hard. It’s okay if that positive piece didn’t really come out necessarily right away.”