MaDD World

average: 7.6 years old
mode: "as long as I can remember"

"I’ve been daydreaming as long as I can remember, earliest being since I was 6. It started getting more ‘intense’ ig when I was around 11." ~Glappy

"I think preschool honestly, but my current daydream world started when I was 11"
~Lucy, age 18-22

average: 5.9 hours/day
mode: 4

"Depends on the day, honestly. On a good day it may be 4-5 hours, on a bad day it'll be the whole day, except for the occasional meal."
~Lelani, age 20

"I spend a different amount each day but it’s usually at a constant, like playing in the background of my mind." ~Z, age 13-17

"Pretty much almost an entire day - consistent autopilot with my daydreams :/" ~KKP, age 17

"not pursued actual opportunities in favor of imagining them/better ones." ~AL, 32

"got easily addicted to tramadol, as opioids make your daydreams 110% more real."
~Caleb, 18

"sometimes I just forget to eat." ~Ink, 16

"often neglected keeping up with basic hygiene (showered once a week...etc...)." ~KKP, 17

"unable to perform self-care due to prioritizing daydreaming over taking care of self." ~Zar, 18+

"gained some self-esteem issues, but nothing crazier than what I already had. I’ve noticed that I’m a lot more open-minded and sometimes more excited for the future despite not having much motivation to get through the process. I’m a lot more self-aware now." ~Emie, 20

"My paras literally will force me to do my tasks XD so more work done with them." ~UKN/CM

"learned who I am." ~Kyla, 50

"developed really strong calves from pacing, probably damaged my hearing with earphones." ~RPW, 45

"I sometimes act out movements like fighting." ~Nico, 20

"I often tend to punch myself on the leg whilst daydreaming to music." ~KKP, 17

"I set time in my day to daydream, and for that I go to the basement and get on a swing. Makes it insanely easier to escape. I essentially act out what's happening without really being aware of it."
~Caleb, 18

"Rocking myself on my chair when I listen to music because I can't pace." ~Tulipe, 16

"Hair twirling, lip biting, foot tapping, pen/pencil tapping, humming, gasping." ~Ink, 16

"Me, living as someone else, usually from a piece of media. The daydream/paracosm usually has nothing to do with the media itself, just me being the character if that makes sense. So it's less about me living in a fantasy world and more me being someone else." ~J

"I've used various names for my character, but "me" living out my main fantasy, of being heavily respected and/or feared. (MDD has REALLY let me see the inner workings of who I am. (At least I hope so.)" ~Caleb, 18

"Typically romantic or very heartfelt, for example, family moments. They’re almost exclusively with characters from shows that i fall for 😭." ~Emie, 20

"Somewhat unlikely scenarios involving myself and real people, usually people I know in real life, but generally not people I am super close to. I tend to play a heroic role or am in control, it's essentially a world in which I am extremely confident and don't experience anxiety, and it also often includes social validation: people whose opinions of me I care about are watching me or are involved. It also often involves romantic situations and almost always some type of emotional intimacy. The daydreams I use to fall asleep (different than daytime ones where I have to move around) sometimes involve more upsetting situations that I have to intervene in and are more emotionally but less physically intense, while the daytime ones involve some sort of personal success." ~Lucy, 21

"Not exactly the ideal version, it’s more of a para that I embody sometimes. So they have their own flaws that are plot relevant but are also what I wish I was." ~Z, 13-17

"I've used various names for my character, but "me" living out my main fantasy, of being heavily respected and/or feared. (MDD has REALLY let me see the inner workings of who I am. (At least I hope so.)" ~Caleb, 18

"Me in a better life. Me in my dream life. Me experiencing things I'll never experience like extreme wealth, perfection, notoriety...
An enhanced version of my personality. Like I am emotionally intelligent, calm, capable, cool." ~AL, 32

"Me becoming the prime minister/president of my or another country and winning in a huge landslide and doing amazing things and everyone loves me." ~GV, 18

What are some of your paracosms?

"My main paracosm is basically a multiverse, which is protected by the 13 Guardians who keep everything in line. Occasionally something glitches in one of the universes, so the guardians have to go to that world and fix it, without anyone knowing who they really are. Said universes are typically the universes of whatever media I'm focused on at the time, and each could probably be their own separate paracosm but that's the overarching story"
~Lelani, 18-20

"Skdkcjjf it’s a bit cringy to talk about, but my main paracosm is in a type of mob/mafia setting and it stars three main characters. The Leader, The Mastermind, and The Assassin (I mainly daydream about the assassin since they’re my parame). These three are the highest in the hierarchy with the leader obv being the boss, and they’re best childhood friends as well. (These paras are based on my friend group.)
They do the typical mafia things but they do it to put out major corrupt companies and overthrow asshole leaders and other justice-y shit.
So on the other side there’s princess Morgan and her father, the king, who she absolutely despises and plans to overthrow since he’s become completely corrupt as soon as the queen died. He was simply waiting for her to pass since the rest of the kingdom loves her and would support her over him. This kingdom btw is more modern styled and Morgan wears dresses that are fitted with slits for mobility cuz she battles a lot as well and is one of the worlds most skilled, along with the Assassin." ~Z, 13-17

"Oh my, there’s so many dimensions, and they just keep going. One of the main~ is like, a hotel where everyone meets up - it’s a lot cooler in my mind I swear." ~UKN/CM

"Two of my paracosm/paracosms are from books. The Leandros Brothers series and The Others series. My 3rd main paracosm is from Star Wars, specifically the Prequels time period." ~Nico, 20

"The Ghost Paracosm is about a woman who finds that an atypical curse within a haunted house has several key links to her forgotten past. It's mainly a psychological and supernatural horror hybrid."
~KKP, 17

"Chosen by the Chaos: a human-based reimagining of the Sonic series that streamlines the lore, updates the world to be more realistic, and focuses more on the future.
Hermapollon: an isekai where musicians who died before 40 reincarnate/spawn with a hermetic (creature or person that relates to their cause of death) no memory of their prior lives and can flash back to their past lives.
Blue Into White: the main story of Hermapollon which focuses on the spawns of two Mayhem members and two human hermetics. The band in question is known to have a dark history, so this complicates their journey.
Love Live!: Step Out!!: a Love Live AU for Stray Kids, but it’s adapted with new names and new genres.
~Mint, 18

"Well they're quite complex usually, so I'll introduce  you to my Royale High/Roblox paracosm, basically a dream school with an amazing class (that I'm still creating) and an idealized world where you can explore different games and have fun, you also have many unrelated paras here." ~K, 14

"The webtoon Hive and Sweet Home... Star wars, Star Trek, Heroes (a TV show), the anime Bleach, My Hero Acadamia—the list goes on forever. I've made a zombie apocalypse one, a Fallout one, a bunch of apocalypse concepts I've made myself, Halo, Destiny—shit I really gotta stop myself from going on lol ~Caleb, 18

"Basically, it's Stranger Things but it's okay now and no monsters are going around. It's been like 12 years after the canon and they all have trauma so I feel like I can relate to them." ~RW

"Despite not even being able to finish the first season, one [paracosm] I have is based off of Money Heist. I completely fell for the character ‘Berlin’ as he’s exactly my type and from then on, I recreated a whole universe based off the show." ~Emie, 20

"So my main paracosm is also a story I'm writing for a webtoon, it's about a fairy world that got separated from the human world because of a war and we follow Caspian, a (bisexual) sea fairy who can see the future, and the deuteragonist Astor, a star fairy who can heal anything. I want to say more but I don't want to spoil too much." ~Tulipe, 16

"My paracosm is a fictional world of my making. It took a multitude of years to create. It's a fantasy world compromised of vampires, elves, humans, etc." ~Jane, 21

"My only paracosm is called Brimming World, and it's just real life, but all characters and people I made up are real." ~Zar, 18+

"My paracosm is just the real world but with different outcomes or interactions that I won't necessarily ever have but do involve real people in my life. I used to have public figures in my daydreams, but stopped doing that probably by the time I was 16 or so."
~Lucy, 21

"1. Somewhere similar to our current world
2. Fantasy, cottagecore stuff
3. Hogwarts
4. A spin-off of reality, modern world but people have magical powers/creatures
5. Cloud kingdom, we live in clouds and control the weather
6. Historical Imperial China, usually Qing and Ming dynasty
7. Military authoritarianism world, 1930s era
~ Ink, 16

chapter 6: waking up

As we emerge from our Internet daydream, we enter back into the larger world wide web and off-line world.

Here, discourse surrounding MaDD is relegated to Tiktok hashtags and Anthony Padilla “I spent a day with” Youtube interviews.

Have you ever told or tried telling anyone in your life about MD?

"I briefly mentioned it to my best friend but dxidn't go into detail. She reacted positively, but I don't think she fully understood it." ~Lelani, 18

"Yes. [Their reply was,] 'Everyone daydreams sometimes. Like about their day and what they are going to do next...'" ~Zar, 18+

"I’ve always been too scared to talk to my family, mainly because my siblings couldn’t care less and my parents are a bit 'eh…' when it comes to fantasy.
However, I’ve told a few of my friends; back before I knew what exactly MD was... His reaction was very positive because he said he did it too! We became friends, and we still are to this day :)" ~C, 14

"Not really, I know my family would not take it seriously, which isn’t really a problem for me since I’m an immersive daydreamer. I considered telling my friends too but I never got around to it cuz I never got the chance to sit down and explain it to them fully (or I was just too ***** to)." ~Z, 13-17

"No. I think they wouldn't believe me." ~Mi, 16

"OH. Yes - some were encouraging and loved interacting with them, others thought I was insane?" ~UKN/CM

"I tried once and all they said was 'cool' and then moved on. It was kinda disappointing cause I was trusting them with this info and then they kinda just brushed it off." ~RW

"No, they'll think I'm some Westernized spoilt brat. Which is, well, fair enough? MaDD isn't even as officially recognized diagnosis, and mental health/illness is already a taboo in the first place. And in recent years there have been a large number of cases of teens faking them in order to be lazy or because they didn't get what they wanted/way."
~Ink, 16

"I have told my parents and my therapist. My parents expressed concern and wanted me to get rid of it to a degree, while my therapist bundled it with my ADHD." ~Mint, 18

"Yes... But I didn't really bother to explain the struggles more as I know they wouldn't really understand it." ~K, 14

"I was called crazy before I knew what it was lol, but now people treat me like a weirdo who thinks he's 'quirky' or something." ~Caleb, 18

"I tried telling my mom and she all she said was to stop doing it." ~Enya, 19

"My husband knows and is fine with it. Two therapists have been understanding. I also mentioned it on a Zoom call with a group of people I hadn't met before and the main reaction was curiosity." ~Kyla, 50

"A therapist about 20 years ago. He said it was very common to try to escape via fantasy life when things IRL are terrible. I was too embarrassed to really explain how much time I was spending and didn't mention the pacing or music or many details. He recommended EMT for trauma treatment but I never followed through." ~RPW, 45

"I’m way too embarrassed to tell anyone I know in real life lol." ~Emie, 20

"My boyfriend was indifferent when he found out I had MaDD - he never treated me weirdly...and he always had zero judgment for who I was. I'm glad to have someone like him :3" ~KKP, 17

"...I have never been able to tell anyone about my fantasies themselves, not even my therapist or my sister who also has MD, because it feels so personal and I have some shame around it.." ~Lucy, 21

"No, I'm embarrassed to bring it up because of the nature of the daydreams." ~J

"I am in therapy and I am currently working on it. It affects my life a lot and I want to find a balance between having a real life and still being able to daydream." ~Nico, 20

"No. it's a huge pain sometimes, but I do enjoy daydreaming and cannot imagine my life without my paras or paracosm." ~P/R, 19

"Yes, because I want to stop. Or at least gain a healthy regulation of the daydreaming." ~Zar, 18

"I haven’t tried to treat it. For one, I’m attached to the characters and worlds I’ve made, and my parents don’t believe in mental problems, lol."
~C, 14

"No, cause I'm young and most people dont believe us." ~RW

"No, I'm still a minor and I don't have the resources to do so. It's not even officially recognized yet, so even if I could go to a therapist/psychologist I don't think it would bode well in my country."
~Ink, 16

"I have, but it was joint with ADHD due to it not being considered a separate condition." ~Mint, 18

"No, I mentioned it to my therapist but I don't think she really understood it really (I also been there only a couple of times) I also lowkey want my MD bc I'm so attached to my paras." ~K, 14

"No. I don't have faith anyone will be well-versed in it." ~AL, 32

"Nope. I personally really love my MD even though it can halt my productivity at times. The comfort it makes me feel is well worth it." ~Emie, 20

"I'm scared that they would worsen my condition." ~Jane, 21

"Yes, it made it difficult for me to function because it was so time consuming and distracted me from real life and my emotions and was often a form of escapism or a source of dopamine that I should have been getting elsewhere. It is very tied up with my anxiety, depression, ADHD, and mood swings so investigating why I do it compulsively was helpful for me." ~Lucy, 21

"No, I love having MD." ~Enya, 19

"Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I mean: Sometimes I see MD as a blessing (because of the ability to Daydream vivid). In the other hand, sometimes i just want it to dissapear so that i could go back to a 'normal life.'" ~Mi, 16

"Yes and no. Yes, cause I wanna be able to interact more with people. And No, cause it brings me comfort and confidence and actually gets me to try and do new things." ~RW

"Not really? It brings me great comfort, joy, creativity, peace, etc. but I just wish it would be less of a bothering interference in my life that hinders me at times." ~Ink, 16

"It ruined and is still ruining my life. It's added fake memories and shit which have ruined a lot of things. Yet still, I can't, and don't want to live without it. It's everything to me, and way more than an addiction." ~Caleb, 18